I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I need to align my fucking chakras
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