I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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