My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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