HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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