Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
