those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
