is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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