how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
