so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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