i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
