I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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