I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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