i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
