I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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