Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
