I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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