I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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