you would pick up someone in the library
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
