i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
