but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
