she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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