watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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