i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
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The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
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I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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