Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just want nice things and good sex
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
