P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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