please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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