She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Vodka?
Forever.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
