By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
