puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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