id be glad to
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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