Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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