dude i'm inner monologue high
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
