at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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