Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
