I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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