i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
