So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
