: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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