Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
