if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
