i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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