One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize