talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
