I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
