that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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