i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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