im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
