now i know why i became what i already was.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
