life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
