It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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