So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
