Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
