So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
