I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
