sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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