If i come over, it means nothing
i just google imaged poop.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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