i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
