No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
