Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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